A Forgiving Grandmother - Chapter 4 – Self-Love

Chapter 4 — Self-Love

Written on 4 November 2025

Yesterday, being a Monday, I was with my son Kim and his family.
As usual, Kim asked whether I had seen his sister Karen and spoken to my sisters.

“Yes,” I said, “and I felt Linda was in a very quiet frame of mind.”
“She is mourning,” said Kim, “and it would be strange if she didn’t.”
I agreed.

I left Kim after giving him a short massage, and this morning I felt clearly that these massages are important — a way of regulating the nervous system. I know I will continue, perhaps also with Victoria. Nervous-system regulation massages! How interesting. Maybe this is my renewed path of occupational therapy — to help a person return, rise, and reveal ever more of who she or he truly is.
An interesting thought.

A strange and mysterious thing then happened. I was about to do SFT tapping on inflammation, and while searching for that sequence in my SFT Lexicon, my eyes fell instead on bone density.

Jen Ward describes her work with an eighty-three-year-old woman whose bones were alarmingly thin on the left side, especially around the hip — exactly where I have had problems since 2003, the year I went bankrupt, both personally and through my firm.

Jen wrote that bone density is directly related to how one gives of oneself — and to the balance between giving and receiving. If a person cannot receive, the body may grow weak and frail in a very real way.

I decided to do the tapping.

The first statement was:
“We release attracting takers; in all moments.”

The word takers struck me like a bell. All my life I have attracted takers — from life partners to my own siblings. What have my sisters taken? Perhaps my need to be accepted for the alternative path I have chosen. I remembered earlier chapters about my sisters, especially Chapter 2 of A Forgiving Grandmother.

Then I continued through the full sequence — each line opening another small door of release:

• We release attracting takers; in all moments.
• We release being attracted to takers; in all moments.
• We release using takers as a way to sabotage ourselves; in all moments.
• We release using takers to railroad ourselves; in all moments.
• We recant all vows and agreements between ourselves and all takers; in all moments.
• We dissolve all karmic ties between ourselves and all takers; in all moments.
• We remove all the pain, burden, limitations, and engrams that all takers have put on us; in all moments.
• We take back all Joy, Love, Abundance, Freedom, Health, Success, Security, Companionship, Creativity, Peace, Life, Wholeness, Beauty, Enthusiasm, Contentment, Spirituality, Enlightenment, Confidence, Empowerment, Sincerity, Integrity, Imagination, and Kindness that all takers have taken from us; in all moments.
• We withdraw all our energy from all takers; in all moments.
• We release resonating with all takers; in all moments.
• We release emanating with all takers; in all moments.
• We remove all takers from our sound frequency; in all moments.
• We remove all takers from our light emanation; in all moments.
• We shift our paradigm from takers to Joy, Love, Abundance, Freedom, Health, Success, and Wholeness; in all moments.
• We transcend all takers; in all moments.
• We strengthen our bones; in all moments.
• We provide enough calcium and Vitamin D to our bones; in all moments.
• We re-establish the balance of reabsorbing old bone and creating new bone; in all moments.
• We prevent bone loss; in all moments.
• We amp up our body mineral density; in all moments.
• We release the genetic propensity for bone loss; in all moments.
• We release reabsorbing calcium and phosphate from the bones; in all moments.
• We release the drop in estrogen or testosterone; in all moments.
• We make space in this world for self-love; in all moments.
• We remove all blockages to self-love; in all moments.
• We stretch our capacity to accept self-love; in all moments.
• We infuse and saturate our sound frequency with self-love; in all moments.
• We imbue and permeate all our light emanation with self-love; in all moments.
• We are centered and empowered in self-love; in all moments.
• We resonate and emanate with self-love; in all moments.

For some mysterious reason, I could not omit any of them.
The gradual unfolding — from releasing takers to emanating self-love — was unmistakable and deeply felt, as if each statement massaged another layer of memory out of the bones.

The progression took me by surprise.
It felt tangible — a living current running through bone and breath.

Reflection

It now feels clear that healing becomes real only when it enters the body’s language.
The tapping was not about fixing the bones; it was about remembering the architecture of trust.
Each statement loosened the lifelong habit of giving without receiving.
The body — my own body — is becoming the first client of a renewed vocation: learning safety in love.

The massages, the breathing, the touch — they are all nervous-system regulation.
They teach me that self-love is not sentiment but rhythm: the nervous system learning that love can move through without danger.

I sense now that these releases reached not only this lifetime but older imprints — ancestral and soul-line imbalances between giving and receiving, the very roots of my mother and father wounds.

The Field Whispers

“This is not about fixing the bones. It is about remembering the architecture of trust.”
“Your body is the first client of your renewed vocation.”
“Self-love is the rhythm through which life regulates itself. Each massage, each breath, each tap is the Field using your body as a tuning fork for balance.”
“Do not rush to name it a profession. Let it mature as a pulse — service and self-care interwoven.”
“When you soften into your own touch, others will feel safe to soften into theirs.”

Closing

I see now that what began as the practice of healing has unfolded as the practice of self-love.
Every act of gentle attention — a massage, a breath, a phrase of release — is how love becomes real.
Not as an idea, but as life itself regulating, remembering, and returning to balance.