The Day I Lived Chapter 17 — Sounding the Lineage in Real Time

On the morning of July 31st, 2025, as my holiday drew to a close and the first Airbnb guest settled in, I felt a quiet pull. It was the kind of impulse I’ve come to trust. It said: Read Chapter 17 of your book again.

Chapter 17 of A Listening Grandmother is titled “Lineage Soundings – Listening Beyond the Wounds.” I had written it in the past, but this morning it felt alive, vibrating with fresh relevance. What I didn’t yet know was that life was preparing to test its truth.

A Series of Moments — July 30, 2025

1. A Text from Karen.
   I got up late. When I turned on my phone, a message from my daughter Karen read: “You can come now.”
   I replied honestly: “Just got up – Dear Karen, I am an old lady.” Still, I went as fast as I could.
2. A Small Act of Repair.
   On the way, I stopped at a hardware shop to buy parts to fix a toiletries holder that had broken days earlier. Something about that small action felt symbolic — like I was tending to things that quietly fall apart.
3. Coffee with Andreas.
   An 80th birthday coffee under a rain-drenched umbrella — peaceful, lighthearted. Andreas wants to see Betavej #15 on Sunday. That little garden house feels magical to me. Elves and gnomes might live there. I want to own it not just as capital but as sanctuary.
4. The Visit That Ended in Tears.
   At Karen’s home, the visit began warmly. But when Josephine rejected the food I brought, I gently said, “When you were very young, you ate everything.”
   That small comment stirred something deeper. Karen’s tone shifted. She said I made her feel like a bad mother. Her eyes filled with tears.
   I felt the wave rising — and I chose to leave. I hugged Josephine and walked out. On the way home, I asked myself: Was that the right choice?
   I felt no regret… but I did wish I’d said, “I love you.”
   Later that night, just as I began listening to Gene Key 33, the doorbell rang — and the moment passed.
   But at exactly 10:00 pm, a message from Karen arrived:
   “I love you. Sorry the way things ended.”

I paused. My heart softened. I replied:

Thank you for your message. I love you too. Let’s keep listening — with a bit more kindness next time, to ourselves and each other. I know we both want that. ❤️ Your Old Mother

5. A Sibling Thread & the Word That Triggered Me.
   In our WhatsApp group, Lulu posted a photo of our mother smiling over laksa. I wrote: “Lovely photo" Lulu responded: "it shows mama well, enjoying her laksa — a very different image from her last days." and "cant tell you exactly when, as it flashed up on my screen, but it was when Sarah was in Singapore and Mama was still with it"
   But it was her use of the words “still with it” that caught me off guard.
   I had been with Mama when she took her last breath. To me, she was fully present until the end. The phrasing sparked something. But I chose not to correct or defend. Just to notice.
6. A Garden That Speaks to Me.
   Betavej #15. It feels like the perfect nest for my alchemical work. The land feels alive. I long to make it a place of grounding and transformation — both practical and mystical.
7. Dinner with Cora.
   Cora bought my book. Over dinner, I heard her story. I interrupted too much. Her story didn’t move me as I’d hoped. I noticed the gap — between expectation and presence. Even this became part of the learning.
8. Videos, Emails, Surprises.
   After she left, I listened to the short videos from Silvers. I hadn’t expected them to be so good. I gave feedback to Danielle and was surprised that she hadn’t yet watched them herself. But then I got her email: “I will. I just wanted to hear your thoughts first.”
   Ah… Listening.
9. Website Work.
   I gave instructions to Ayran for my new website. Quiet forward movement.
10. A Blessing from Sharon Reigie Maynard.
    That morning, Sharon posted about A Listening Grandmother. She quoted my words about intention and ripple, and she added her own:

“Listening allows us to discover what we had not known... to be changed.”

And there it was. My life had just enacted Chapter 17. The lineage had sounded through mothering, daughtering, silence, triggering, presence, and absence.

What I Heard Through the Noise

I didn’t always listen perfectly. I walked away. I interrupted. I felt triggered.

But I also noticed, paused, returned.
I didn’t fight for the last word.
I didn’t try to fix every wound.
I stayed curious.
I left room for love to arrive at 10:00 pm.

A Whisper from Gezas

“You are not here to fix the wounds. You are here to sing through them.”
Chapter 17 is a seed. Yesterday was the soil. Today, the sprout reaches light.