WHEN THE SAME LESSON KNOCKS TWICE IN A WEEK!! – LianHenriksen.com

WHEN THE SAME LESSON KNOCKS TWICE IN A WEEK!!

The Field has a strange way of underlining its point.
Sometimes it sends the same lesson twice — once in broad daylight, once in the quiet of an afternoon message thread — just to make sure you don’t look away.

The first came in the form of a small, practical exchange.
An acquaintance had been curious about my book, A Listening Grandmother and had reminded me more than once that she wanted to see it. When I finally brought it, she asked to borrow it instead of buying it. This upsetted me. This wasn’t about the money. It was about exchange, reciprocity, and that says: If you value the book, and my work please buy it. I was about to say - can I borrow the mugs you sell and then return them later?

The second came through a much closer connection.
We were talking about meeting for dinner. A simple suggestion of where to go opened a door for me to name a deeper need — to ask her to read a chapter of my book that touched on a similar dynamic we’d had before, and to remind her that our needs are different.

Her response was honest: she saw herself as emotionally oriented, me as task- or experience-oriented, and she shared her belief in holding each other in pain as a way to heal. I respected her clarity, but my body knew I didn’t have the space for a prolonged discussion. I told her so — with warmth, but also with firmness — and let her know I valued her even as I stepped back.

She replied that she’d be out of touch until she “landed on her feet.”

Two very different settings:

  • One about a book and the value of a creative work.

  • One about dinner plans that unfolded into a conversation about how we approach connection and healing.

But for me, the core was the same:
Holding my own boundaries without apology.

Saying 'this is my limit' without turning it into a judgment of the other person.
Allowing myself to step back even if it risks being misunderstood.

The same lesson, twice in one week.
And each time, the quiet reminder that saying yes to my own needs is not the same as saying no to the relationship — even if that’s how it lands for the other. WHAT A LESSON!!!

Leave a comment