WHO NEEDS WITNESSING?

From the book-in-progress: Learning to Listen Beyond Logic… and Loving Without Fixing

It began with a simple message from a wise woman I deeply respect — Karen Crane, the grandmother who penned the Foreword to A Listening Grandmother. We were reflecting on an article I had written about the transformative power of being witnessed. She had read it, sat with it, and then wrote:

“I understand all these benefits and have felt them within our circle.
But is there an assumption that everyone needs this experience?
What if one does not feel isolated, unseen, or in need of being witnessed?”

Her question made me pause — not because it challenged the premise, but because it invited a new layer of listening.
Karen explained that she has cultivated a strong online presence through her Wisdom Work, poetry, and public sharing. She has long practiced vulnerability and has been met with acceptance, even admiration. She feels seen. She feels held.

She added, with a touch of self-awareness and laughter:

“Lol. Or maybe I have a kind of dementia???”

I responded softly:

“I wouldn’t go there, Karen — if I were you.
But apparently… you still have a need to expand.”

✴ The Listening Beneath the Surface

Her question stayed with me.
Who needs witnessing?
Is witnessing only for the lonely, the unheard, the unseen?

And then a quiet whisper rose from the Field:

Even those who “need nothing” may still long to be seen differently.
Not because they are broken — but because they are becoming.

I remembered the many moments I had sat beside people with dementia — some of whom seemed utterly disconnected from ordinary language or emotion. And yet, when witnessed in silence, when accompanied in stillness, something unmistakable stirred. A flicker of presence. A return.

What if witnessing is not about fixing a wound, but honoring a becoming?
What if the deepest listening doesn’t arise from need, but from attunement?

✴ Beyond Isolation, Into Evolution

Karen’s question is not only valid — it’s essential.

There are people who do not feel isolated or unseen.
There are people who have found their voice, cultivated community, and feel deeply met.
And yet… the work of listening never ends.
The terrain of the soul is infinite.

Witnessing is not a prescription.
It is an invitation.
Not to solve. Not to soothe. But to see — without expectation.

Sometimes the person who “needs nothing” is simply standing at the edge of their next threshold.
And witnessing — quiet, undemanding, sacred — is the bridge.

✴ The Epilogue Speaks

I asked Karen whether she had read the Epilogue of A Listening Grandmother.
Not because I wanted her to rethink her position.
But because something in her question mirrored something in that final chapter — a soft recognition that even those who’ve “done the work” are still being worked upon by Life.

It’s not about needing.
It’s about allowing.
Allowing ourselves to be witnessed in the present moment, even when we think we’ve already arrived.

✴ Listening Beyond Logic

So who needs witnessing?

Maybe the better question is:
Who doesn’t benefit from being listened to — without interruption, without judgment, without fixing?

Not because we are broken.
But because we are still unfolding.

As Karen herself wrote:

“Hmmm. Maybe this is a topic I should explore…”

Yes, dear Karen.
Let’s explore it together.
In friendship. In listening. In love.

—
Lian Hua
July 2025